A Real Moment in Actual Real Life (Aka New Zealand is a Real Place but makes No Case for it)

Introducing a bird:

Tadorna variegata, aka Paradise Shelduck or pūtangitangi which is also another word for harmonica in Te Reo.  I think they sound a bit more like a haunted kazoo, personally.  A tangi is a lamentation, to cry, mourn, weep over, a call out to the dead.

These birds are everywhere.  They like big open parks, playing fields, and marshy lowlands (which is pretty much all of Christchurch).  I read Paradise Shelducks described as "duck software, goose hardware."  Or maybe it was the other way around, "goose software, duck hardware."  While I have no any idea what that means I do love the phrase and am fully behind perpetuating it. 

These ducks usually hang out in a male/female pair among other waterfowl like mallards and Canadian Geese.  The white headed one perched on the the headstone is female, and the dark headed one in among the dappling shadows is male.

They make terrible sounds, usually when taking off and flying overhead.  Since I live next to a marsh I will often hear them flying through the dark making terrifying mournful wails in the night skies.  Apparently the females have a slightly more shrill cry "zeek zeek zeek" while males have a deeper "ZONK."  I love the weird phonetic translation of bird calls.  Zeek, the most mournful sound.

A dietician that I work had her last shift today, so we had a little afternoon tea where we toasted her and thanked her for a job well done.  We had gathered around a table covered in snacks, next to a big glass patio door.  The afternoon sunshine was streaming in, and we were all listening to the nurse manager of the ward tell the dietician how much he admired her ever since brought a vital signs machine to an emergency.  She wouldn't have known how to take a blood pressure, but she was damn well going to help out however she could.  

The dietician gave a dignified and understated little thank you speech, and as she finished a pair of Paradise Shelducks came and tapped on the glass doors.  Excuse me?  They unmistakably reached up and pecked curiously on the door with their funny little bills.  Perhaps they were begging for treats.  I've never seen anybody feed the ducks around the hospital, but somebody must have opened a door and poured out some Weet-Bix for them at some point.  Or perhaps they were saying goodbye.

Just imagine if ducks came to your retirement party.